when teachers actually start teaching on the first day of class
the price of a popcorn and soda at target: $1.99
the price of a popcorn and soda at the movies: an entire month’s rent and your first born child
if you get a group of at least five people between their late teens and early/middish twenties and have one of them quote spongebob squarepants i swear to god they can kill half an hour at minimum just quoting random and often unrelated spongebob snippets back and forth at each other nigh verbatim without any other conversation, this is basically science
in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck
this is why you guys had the black plague.
relationship status: (drives through the night while 80s synthpop plays in the background)
my history professor told me today that he “likes the way I look vaguely pissed off” during class